Right, so everyone who knows me KNOWS how much love I have for Big Brother. Despite the snobbery and the hateration it unfairly attracts, for me it is one of the greatest and most fascinating television productions of all time.
Recently, I stumbled across an interview with my favourite housemate in BB history - Victor 'The Slick Man' Ebuwa. I don't care what anyone says, Victor was the fucking MAN, and he MADE BB5. Impressively, Victor is now making his cake through investment banking and stockbroking. Who saw that coming?! Good on you Vic!
Anyways, here's the interview I'm on about - he is so jokes.
(Taken from Digital Spy)
What are you up to these days, Victor?"Well when the spotlight all died down and the phone stopped ringing from the agent, I thought, 'What am I going to do now?' As you know, I'm Nigerian, and Nigerians love two things - money and women. You can't have women without money - not good ones anyway - so I decided to get into investment banking and stockbroking. I didn't know anything about it, but that's never stopped me before. I had a couple of interviews and from sheer charisma managed to blag it. I got in the door, but then somehow it ended up in all those London papers. After that, there was a spread in one of the Sunday papers, using my quotes from Big Brother, making me out to be a dodgy stockbroker. Based on that I had to move, but I'm in trading now, and that's what I'm doing now."
You haven't been hurt by the credit crunch then?"I'm keeping the economy going single handedly. If I wasn't in the city, mate, this country would have gone to the s**ts by now. I'm the last bastion standing between England and financial turmoil - it's all down to me."
Is it tough heading back to the world of work, then?"You know what, there's so many sob stories out there. So many Sally sobs and Harry hard-lucks. It is quite strange when you leave the show because you can't put it on your CV, as people treat it like a disease. I mentioned it in an interview once and the look that came on his face was unbelievable, he treated me like a nobody. I just gave it to him straight. If you're good at a job, it shouldn't matter. Am I a paedophile? No. Have I killed anybody? No. Simple as that. That's something that I won't let stop me."
It's not something you imagine many contestants think about before going on the show.
"I'm a pretty fearless person, but going back to the working world after being in the public eye is a daunting thing. All the whispers start in the office as soon as you walk in, 'Isn't that the chap from Big Brother? What's he doing here?' I'm quite thick-skinned and I'm able to take the jokes and banter, but I know other housemates who are really struggling. Struggling badly. It's a dire situation, because not everyone has the sheer bloodymind that I do. I have a kid, he needs to eat, and it doesn't matter if I feel a little embarrassed. F**k it, I'm not going to become one of those waster dads."
Did you consider your long-term career before you went on the show?
"I don't normally do things without thinking them through, but I didn't think about Big Brother. In my mind, it was ten weeks' work, £10,000-a-week, I was going to walk it. Based on what I'd seen before, I was going to stroll it. I didn't think about how it would affect me or my family. They give you the 'Talk Of Doom', but Endemol don't give a s**t about you. I understand that, I'm a businessmen. People need to listen to that 'Talk Of Doom' though, because the show really will have an effect on you, your family and your friends. A lot of them guys in there now, they are going to struggle, and I mean struggle. People who go on the show now are putting themselves up for ridicule. Whether you win or lose, you are a BB loser. You're a scumbag and piece of s**t to the press and public. No token counselling from Endemol can help you with that."
What do you remember about the infamous 'Fight Night'?"I remember everything. I thought I was going to kill someone. I'm being honest here, if there wasn't a camera there would have been a lot of blood shed that night. Now I'm a grown-up and more mature, but back then I was just off the streets and I still had that mentality. That's how I did things growing up. We'd sort things out on the grass outside. Whoever wins is right, whoever loses was wrong. That's the way I was brought up. The only thing that stopped me bludgeoning some of those housemates was the prospect of spending 15 years in Belmarsh prison with someone a bit tasty who wants to make advances with me in the night. Not worth it, just for the chance to punch Marco."
You blew your chances of winning on the wedding task. Do you regret losing your cool?
"Well, that doughnut Shell decided to step in and ruin things. Anyone who knows me understands that I can't stand toffs and Shell was one of those toffs with a sob story. Her dad was a chief executive, but yet she didn't have enough money. She lived on a four acre farm, but she was struggling. Why don't you sell two acres and live on a two-acre farm?! On the day of the wedding task I had a headache and warned everybody that I would be snappy, but they chose not to show that. She was getting on my nerves all day, gossiping to Dan about me. We all had a couple of drinks and then suddenly she just went off on one. She called me a c**t, and the gloves came off. Dan opens his mouth, I'd been dying to give it to him, so I gave it to him as well. I gave it Nadia as well. But right then and there, I knew I was going home. I understood the principles of the show and a major one is, if you're up for eviction - don't have an argument that week. Especially with someone not up for eviction and especially not with a woman. The rest is history."
At one point it looked like you could win the show though.
"As far as I'm aware, I was the only person to ever be favourite to win and get evicted in the same week. I was shocked mate. Call it arrogance or what, but up until this day I'm still amazed. I'm up against Nadia, Jason and Dan and I'm going home! Jesus! I honestly think it must have been rigged."
You were famous for your one-liners. Did you think of them before you went in the house?
"I didn't think of anything before I went in there. Me and my friends all have one-liners. Everyone's a cocky so-so in my social circle. Going on TV, you just carry on being who you are. In the house, I would be sat there with nothing to do eating my shredded wheat and Marco would walk by - things then just popped in my head and made me laugh. I'd chuckle to myself and save it for the diary room later. I saved it because if I said them out loud, I'd have been nominated in week one."
Seriously, what is the PURPOSE of these hideous things? Can someone please answer that question for me because I just can't get my head around why they exist???
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