Thanks for nothing guys!

Hello all,

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the great British public for kindly PISSING ALL OVER my opinion yesterday night!

What the hell is wrong with you people?! Rachel as the BB9 winner? Rachel?! RACHEL?!! Give me a fucking break! Added to that, the person I admired the most throughout the entire series finished FIFTH! Yes, that means first out of the bloody house. And then the person who I also admired in almost equal measure, and who I expected to take the crown if Darnell didn't, finished second BEHIND Rachel! My god, she is by FAR the worst Big Brother winner EVER! Shame on you all, shame on you!

The only positive I can take from yesterday night is that the voting was indeed extremely close - my boy Darneezy left with 15% of the initial vote, almost a fifth of all the votes together, which was an amazing percentage for someone who was first out of the house. Miss Rice got very lucky. Must have been the Welsh vote. No actually, I blame Rex. If it wasn't for that arrogant schmuck constantly having digs at her on a daily basis about how boring and dull she was, then she would have been gone weeks ago with all the other... well boring and dull housemates in BB history! Un-bloody-believable! When Davina asked all the ex housemates on BBBM if Rachel deserved to be the winner, one person put their hand up.... Kat. Seriously!

And I wasn't happy with the length and depth of Darnell's interview either - the most complex character of the house deserved more time than that surely! Is it just me though who reeeaally wants to see him and Sara get it on? Slightly perverted, I know... but c'mon, surely they have given in now there are no cameras following their every movement?! I'm glad my suspicions were confirmed though; I knew Sara was holding back! Oh and didn't you just love Darnell's grand eviction outfit?! LOL he was totally rocking his famous blue 'respect me' hoodie with Rachel's long white flowing skirt and a pair of white stunners. What a legend!

As always, it was interesting to see the old housemates returning to the main stage. Steph looked a million dollars and like a proper celebrity! So did Maysoon actually, Jen looked like she'd been badly tangoed (Cheryl Cole look-a-like my arse), Luke was dressed like a junior snooker player, and Lisa looked like she'd just arrived fresh from another botox appointment. Dale, quite suspiciously, appeared to have just made a new friend called 'Charlie'... oh and didn't you just love the tension between him and ex-lover Jen?! Magazine deals dried up quick, eh?

But yeah seriously guys, I can't believe you did that to me... Rachel Rice, winner of BB9, over Darnell Swallow and Mikey Hughes. When asked what she had learnt about from her time in the house, she replied with 'chickpeas'.

And people wonder why the show has lower ratings these days! Pah.