Monday, 13 April 2009

Cowboy hairdressers

So, I went up to the land of the Loch Ness this Easter weekend to celebrate my cousin's 30th birthday, and to prepare myself for the big do', I thought it would be best if I headed to the hairdressers to get a £10.50 blow dry.

Fucking bargain right? You would not get that price in London unless the hairdresser was like, blind or something.

I'd been to the same place before and the woman did a good enough job, so I was eager to go back once again.

BIG MISTAKE.

K, first of all, the numpty who washed my hair wore PLASTIC GLOVES. So whenever she ran her precious hands over my wet barnet, the roots kept getting pulled about and I was in pain.

Great start.

THEN, I made my way over to the chair and discovered a next broad was gonna be drying my hair this time. And that's when it really started to go downhill...

Seriously, I could have done a better job myself. In fact, I fucking did when I left and went back to my auntie's to do it all over again.

I think it was quite possibly the laziest and most pathetic example of hairdressing that I had ever witnessed and experienced in my entire life.

People, she used a PADDLE BRUSH to do my whole head of hair - even my side FRINGE.

WHAT A FUCKING RETARD!!! The way I wanted to just grab the rasclart brush out of her hands and wack her one time around her head with it.

ERRR HELLO? Ever heard of a round brush? You fucking lazy tool! I have long and thick hair, so how the hell am I gonna get any fucking volume in it with a god damn PADDLE BRUSH?!

Omg omg omg I WAS SO ANGRY!

And you know what else? She didn't even ask me at the beginning what I wanted her to do with my hair! She just went straight for that big ol' paddle brush and did things the easy way. Just ASSUMED that I wanted some lame poker straight, flat ass hair-do that made me look like a complete dickhead. She didn't even part it properly! At the end, my roots were still damp for crying out loud!

Oh my lady, you should have seen the mess of it. It looked HIDEOUS! I wanted to say something but I thought:

A) My mum and auntie were getting their hair done in there as well, so I didn't wanna cause a scene and fuck things up for them.

B) It was costing me £10.50

So I thought, fuck it. I'll be a pussyole and keep my mouth shut, and I'll just never come back again.

I'm telling you - shoddiest hair job EVER!!!

And can you believe she had the cheek to tell my marge after I left that her arms were aching???

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?! ACHING?! ACHING?! ACHING FROM WHAT EXACTLY YOU FUCKING MORON!!!

What is it with these fucking cowboy hairdressers?

DIE MOTHERFUCKERS, DIE!!!

3 comments:

Jo Fuertes-Knight said...

I feel your pain. I went to this filipino hairdressers in west thinking there'd be some camaraderie and they not only burnt my head relaxing my hair but gave me a really attractive bowl haircut.

WHICH I STILL PAID FOR?!

William Adam said...

you get barbers that are shit like that too
and my trim cost a good £15
all cuttin up my forehead and shit givin me a wonky shapeup and still expecting me to pay

Rachie-Pie said...

lol thats jokess!!! my hairdressers in east is tryna make me pay £22 for a cut and dry when i been paying £20 for the last two years! why am i gna pay more for the same thing!