Thursday, 30 April 2009

I'm a free woman!!!

OMG guys, guess what???

I officially completed my degree today! Hallelujah!!!

My final ever assignment - a 3000 word project - was handed in (albeit a bit late, but who cares?) and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders! Bloody hell, it felt good! I had about 10 friggin' books from the library as well that needed to be returned, so it felt even better once I got rid of those heavy bastards!

Really, I should have put more time and effort into my last ever piece of work... but as usual, it was all, and I ended up writing the first sentence the night before at 1.30am - haha. OH WELL! It's done now, and I definitely don't feel like I handed in a piece of shit, so I think it's gonna be all good in the hood...

You'd think I'd feel a little bit sad for it to be all over and done with... but do I fuck! That place bored the friggin' pants off me, I tell ya. No excitement man... I feel like a lot of time was wasted there, and it certainly wasn't worth half of the fucking debt I'm in now.

I got some reeeeeal valuable advice for anyone who's considering going to uni: PLAN YOUR FINANCES PROPERLY! Don't let the fuckers get you into debt! Leave uni with more money than you went there with! Trust me, it can be done, just be careful my friends.

Yes, I owe nuff money, but on the other hand I don't really care because I know thousands of other students are in the exact same position as me, or worse off even! We're living in a recession, we're all screwed, so whatever innit.

But yeah, FINALLY!!! I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I will never have to do another piece of academic writing again! Never have to type up another tedious and more-complicated-than-it-should-be bibliography! Never have to worry about showing up to a lecture late, haha! It's all over with, apart from the ol' graduation in July! Bet you that's gonna be a fucking rip off as well!

Anyways, I think there's a moral to this story... errm... errr... oh yeah! Look guys, if you wanna go to uni, that's cool. Obviously, it's not a bad thing, but everyone's different and not everyone HAS to go, so don't let yourselves be forced into something you don't feel comfortable doing. If you're not sure what you want to be, don't spend over £3000 a year on some random art degree, just so you can say you're going to uni, ya feel me? I mean, I'm into all this journalism malarkey right, and I'll have you know that approximately 40% of all journalists do NOT have a degree to their name! How about that, eh? That's nearly half!!! So there ya go!

And don't get me wrong, I don't regret going. I enjoyed my course for the most part, it was interesting and valuable. I learnt a lot of shit that I probably would never have learnt hadn't I made the decision to carry on my education. I learnt about news values, I learnt about Laura Mulvey, I learnt about the concept of the public sphere, I learnt about Baudrillard and 'hyperreality', I learnt about the connection between culture and materialism, I learnt about ideolody, I learnt about the tabloid press and the carnivalesque, I learnt about postmodernism, I learnt about public service broadcasting, and I (kinda) figured out what the hell that dead fella Karl Marx was banging on about all those years ago. So not a bad learning experience I'd say!

But like I said before, if you're on this uni ting, just make sure, for the love of god, that you handle you're money right, because believe me - it ain't worth the P's they're robbing you for!

Farewell uni life... it's been fun being student bum! But now it's all about work life and making money (back)... and being an adult... and being responsible... and paying bills...

OMG I wanna kill myself!!!

Only joking.

And on that note, I'm gone.

Safe and bless.

Monday, 27 April 2009

My water challenge

I am setting myself a challenge to drink nothing but water for this entire week.


a) To see if it will help me fight the flab quicker

b) I don't drink enough water as it is

c) ... errr just because I feel like it really

Day 1 hasn't even finished yet and I'm already struggling. Damn you delicious high juice and Coca Cola, tempting me in my fridge! Stay away from me! Just stay the fuck away! I'll be back for you later, I promise!

I shall not give in until next Monday morning, I'm telling ya!

Let's do this.

NB: Errr the drinks don't count if I go out raving on Fri/Sat! :)

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Arshavin = Legend

4 goals at Anfield!

Arshavin officially has legendary status.

What a game! Man U for the title please.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009


Check out the trailer for Shifty:

The leading man is Riz Ahmed, who featured in the third issue of The Cut magazine.

Big up Riz!

I plan on going to the cinema to see this one...

If your talking the hardest...

... I think 'If YOU'RE talking the hardest' makes more sense.

Nice one numbnuts.

Monday, 20 April 2009

Kyza - Love N Music

OK, I'm a bit late (allow me) but here's the first single from Mr Sayso's upcoming album 'Shots Of Smirnoff', set to drop 15th June 2009:


Who remembers Arctic Rolls?

The other day, I randomly checked my freezer looking for something to munch on... and lo and behold, what I did I see before me?

An Arctic Roll!

Yes, that's right. An Arctic bloody Roll!

For those who are still wondering what the hell I'm on about - observe:

I was like RAH, long time no see! I felt to high five it and everything!


Apparantly its the 'Credit Crunch' dessert... haha, hard times man, hard times.

But I say there's nowt wrong with some good ol' Arctic Roll... infact, I'm munching on some as I type this!

Birds Eye - I salute you!

What will be the next revival I wonder???

Sunday, 19 April 2009

Top 5 Lost characters

There's this application on Facebook called Living Social, which basically allows users to create top 5 lists of like, everything.

For example: top 5 movies of all time, top 5 fast food chains, top 5 countries to visit... etc. etc.

So I decided to devise a list of my top 5 favourite Lost characters.

It wasn't easy... but here are the results (in no particular order):

1. John Locke

2. Benjamin Linus

3. James 'Sawyer' Ford

4. Dr. Jack Shephard

5. Daniel Faraday

I was gonna put Kate in there until I remembered the genius that is Daniel Faraday!

Also, must give a special mention to the badass that is Sayid and my fellow Scot Desmond. But these 5 characters are definitely superior in my eyes...

What do y'all think?

Rob Lowe is bare buff like

Oh my lady!

Look at him! Just look at him!!!

What a fine specimen of a man I say.


Would somebody please kill this woman?

Katie Price has said that she has no regrets about her career as a glamour model and would encourage her daughter to follow in her footsteps.

The reality TV star and entrepreneur told The Sun that she would happily show her children all the topless work she has done when they are older.

Price said: "I don't have any regrets about who I am. If it wasn't for the Jordan image I wouldn't have the house and I wouldn't be able to support the kids in the way that I do.

"When they're older I can't wait to show them everything I've done. When Princess goes to The Sun when she's 18 to be a Page 3 girl, I'll encourage her."

She added: "I'll go: 'Yeah, get them out for the lads'. I think Page 3 Idol's brilliant. I started out as a Page 3 girl and it's a great career."

Earlier this year, Price bought a pink VW Beetle for her daughter Princess Tiaamii, while the toddler was also given a Louis Vuitton bag for her dummy at a fashion shoot.

Source: Digital Spy

Thank you in advance.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Some Like It Hoth trailer

A Miles-centric episode, eh? This is gonna be interesting...

Bring it on!

Monday, 13 April 2009

Cowboy hairdressers

So, I went up to the land of the Loch Ness this Easter weekend to celebrate my cousin's 30th birthday, and to prepare myself for the big do', I thought it would be best if I headed to the hairdressers to get a £10.50 blow dry.

Fucking bargain right? You would not get that price in London unless the hairdresser was like, blind or something.

I'd been to the same place before and the woman did a good enough job, so I was eager to go back once again.


K, first of all, the numpty who washed my hair wore PLASTIC GLOVES. So whenever she ran her precious hands over my wet barnet, the roots kept getting pulled about and I was in pain.

Great start.

THEN, I made my way over to the chair and discovered a next broad was gonna be drying my hair this time. And that's when it really started to go downhill...

Seriously, I could have done a better job myself. In fact, I fucking did when I left and went back to my auntie's to do it all over again.

I think it was quite possibly the laziest and most pathetic example of hairdressing that I had ever witnessed and experienced in my entire life.

People, she used a PADDLE BRUSH to do my whole head of hair - even my side FRINGE.

WHAT A FUCKING RETARD!!! The way I wanted to just grab the rasclart brush out of her hands and wack her one time around her head with it.

ERRR HELLO? Ever heard of a round brush? You fucking lazy tool! I have long and thick hair, so how the hell am I gonna get any fucking volume in it with a god damn PADDLE BRUSH?!

Omg omg omg I WAS SO ANGRY!

And you know what else? She didn't even ask me at the beginning what I wanted her to do with my hair! She just went straight for that big ol' paddle brush and did things the easy way. Just ASSUMED that I wanted some lame poker straight, flat ass hair-do that made me look like a complete dickhead. She didn't even part it properly! At the end, my roots were still damp for crying out loud!

Oh my lady, you should have seen the mess of it. It looked HIDEOUS! I wanted to say something but I thought:

A) My mum and auntie were getting their hair done in there as well, so I didn't wanna cause a scene and fuck things up for them.

B) It was costing me £10.50

So I thought, fuck it. I'll be a pussyole and keep my mouth shut, and I'll just never come back again.

I'm telling you - shoddiest hair job EVER!!!

And can you believe she had the cheek to tell my marge after I left that her arms were aching???


What is it with these fucking cowboy hairdressers?


This watch - soon come


That is me boooooooy!


Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Six Feet Under was the nuts

Hey, did anyone else used to watch the genius that was Six Feet Under?

That show was the fucking BOMB Y'ALL! Definitely not the type of programme that you would watch with your family, but amazing nonetheless!

Oh how I miss Nate, Brenda, David and co.


And it had the best ending as well! I remember bawling like a bitch when I watched it. OVERLY pissed when it finished for good.

Check it out man:

The bit when David see's Keith again playing football... gets me every time!

*sniff sniff*

RIP Six Feet Under - sorely missed.

Strange Love


Monday, 6 April 2009

Top 5 Eastenders characters

Right, I don't even hardly watch Eastenders, but whenever a big storyline is about to come to a conclusion, I'll give it a whirl and laugh at how shockingly unrealistic it is along with the bad acting.

Example: Peggy Mitchell's wedding and Danielle's unexpected demise last week. I was quite entertained by that episode I'll admit, but WTF@ the ending.

As we all know, everything takes place in the 'Square' and no one actually leaves Walford to go to other parts of London like people do in real life - everyone buys their garms from the market; everyone goes to the 'caff' for breakfast lunch and dinner; everyone goes to the Vic to drink; everyone goes to the laundrette to wash their clothes because they don't seen to own washing machines or tumble dryers; everyone goes to quite possibly the lamest nightclub in history to rave, which I can't even remember the name of it's that dry.

So anyways, it was obvious that Janine was gonna be driving around in circles that night. But I just found it hilarious that she was meant to be speeding around the square and must have done so approximately 20 times before Danielle appeared on the road and got run down by her. And furthermore, that Danielle actually stopped and looked at the car coming towards her for a good 5 seconds or so and then literally allowed herself to be run over! But that's Eastenders for ya...

As always though, I was in awe of the legend that is Max Branning. That dude is too 'ard mate! So then I thought to myself - who are the best characters in Albert Square?

I came up with a top 5 list, and here they are, in no particular order:

1. Max Branning - the 'ardest player around

2. Jean Slater - the loveable nutjob

3. Janine Butcher - the baddest bitch

4. Patrick Trueman - the Ladbroke Grove representative, YA MUUUN!

5. Ian Beale - the pencil neck geek

What do you reckon? Do you agree with my list? Who would make your top 5?


Dead Is Dead trailer


Can't wait for this one!

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Eggnog got slewed

Can you believe this kid actually had the audacity to make an album???

Check out the review on Digital Spy:

Four months after last year's X Factor final, the most memorable thing about the singer who finished in third place is his name. Owen? Eoin? Euan? Nah, it's "Eoghan" apparently. Hmm... is that pronounced to rhyme with toboggan? No, actually it's like the surname of the shortest member of Take That. Good. Glad we've got that one cleared up.

Anyway, it comes as a bit of a surprise to find Eggnog, who made his way to the final as much on boyish charm than any innate singing talent, releasing the first X Factor Class Of '08 record. RCA seem to have missed a trick in failing to put this out before Mother's Day, but the delay can't have been caused by a painstaking search for the right material. Eunice's album features just one original track, a fairly forgettable pop-rock tune called '28,000 Friends' that sounds like track eight from a Busted album.

That aside, Enoch's album is filled with covers of songs he sang on The X Factor (a cheap-sounding remake of 'We're All In This Together', a listless take on 'Does Your Mother Know', a version of 'Never Forget' that's about as rousing as a bout of the flu) and songs he probably would have sung on The X Factor were it a few weeks longer ('She's The One' - pleasant enough, 'All About You' - dull as dieting). The only relatively obscure selections are 'Learn To Fly', a forgotten a1 ballad, and 'When You Look Me In The Eyes', a Jonas Brothers single that flopped on this side of the Atlantic.

Unsurprisingly, none of these covers trumps the version we all know and love. More shocking is the low quality control that's been applied to Emmenthal's vocals. 'Does Your Mother Know' and 'All About You' both feature bum notes aplenty, while the way he attempts to sing the chorus of 'Never Forget' is positively wince-inducing. These shaky performances serve to make the album sound amateurish as well as utterly redundant - and Elephant shows only fleeting glimpses of the charm that endeared him to X Factor viewers.
The only saving grace? We won't be worrying how to pronounce his name again until Dancing On Ice 2011.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! They boyd him, HAHAHA! Dancing On Ice you know... that's a par mate.

I swear, I don't think I've ever seen a one star rated album before on there. Simon Cowell is gonna be overly pissed.

I'm bizzack

Yagga yo,

I ain't been on this shit in time, but now I'm BACK.

Had four rasclart uni deadlines last week... yes FOUR in one week! Including the big 'D' aka my dissertation. They take the piss... but it's all good though because I got everything done in typical McBarbie style, and I can breathe again for the next couple of weeks until I have to hand in my final assignment EVER!

After that, it's time to party like a rockstar and prepare myself for Miami 09. YEH MUHFUCKA YEH!!! That's how I'm rolling out here, ya dig?!

The only downside is that I won't get student discount anymore - PISSED.

Anyways, I've got mad shit to blog about - haven't been able to have a good rant in a while! So watch this space...

I'll be back in a bit yeah.