It Doesn't Matter!

Who remembers this???



"It doesn't matter if ya just bought a fresh Bentley!"

HAHAHA. The Rock is such a legend. And Wyclef, just for this tune alone.

Peace out for now jabroni's.

Victor from BB5 is such a legend

Right, so everyone who knows me KNOWS how much love I have for Big Brother. Despite the snobbery and the hateration it unfairly attracts, for me it is one of the greatest and most fascinating television productions of all time.

Recently, I stumbled across an interview with my favourite housemate in BB history - Victor 'The Slick Man' Ebuwa. I don't care what anyone says, Victor was the fucking MAN, and he MADE BB5. Impressively, Victor is now making his cake through investment banking and stockbroking. Who saw that coming?! Good on you Vic!

Anyways, here's the interview I'm on about - he is so jokes.

(Taken from Digital Spy)

What are you up to these days, Victor?
"Well when the spotlight all died down and the phone stopped ringing from the agent, I thought, 'What am I going to do now?' As you know, I'm Nigerian, and Nigerians love two things - money and women. You can't have women without money - not good ones anyway - so I decided to get into investment banking and stockbroking. I didn't know anything about it, but that's never stopped me before. I had a couple of interviews and from sheer charisma managed to blag it. I got in the door, but then somehow it ended up in all those London papers. After that, there was a spread in one of the Sunday papers, using my quotes from Big Brother, making me out to be a dodgy stockbroker. Based on that I had to move, but I'm in trading now, and that's what I'm doing now."

You haven't been hurt by the credit crunch then?
"I'm keeping the economy going single handedly. If I wasn't in the city, mate, this country would have gone to the s**ts by now. I'm the last bastion standing between England and financial turmoil - it's all down to me."

Is it tough heading back to the world of work, then?
"You know what, there's so many sob stories out there. So many Sally sobs and Harry hard-lucks. It is quite strange when you leave the show because you can't put it on your CV, as people treat it like a disease. I mentioned it in an interview once and the look that came on his face was unbelievable, he treated me like a nobody. I just gave it to him straight. If you're good at a job, it shouldn't matter. Am I a paedophile? No. Have I killed anybody? No. Simple as that. That's something that I won't let stop me."

It's not something you imagine many contestants think about before going on the show.
"I'm a pretty fearless person, but going back to the working world after being in the public eye is a daunting thing. All the whispers start in the office as soon as you walk in, 'Isn't that the chap from Big Brother? What's he doing here?' I'm quite thick-skinned and I'm able to take the jokes and banter, but I know other housemates who are really struggling. Struggling badly. It's a dire situation, because not everyone has the sheer bloodymind that I do. I have a kid, he needs to eat, and it doesn't matter if I feel a little embarrassed. F**k it, I'm not going to become one of those waster dads."

Did you consider your long-term career before you went on the show?
"I don't normally do things without thinking them through, but I didn't think about Big Brother. In my mind, it was ten weeks' work, £10,000-a-week, I was going to walk it. Based on what I'd seen before, I was going to stroll it. I didn't think about how it would affect me or my family. They give you the 'Talk Of Doom', but Endemol don't give a s**t about you. I understand that, I'm a businessmen. People need to listen to that 'Talk Of Doom' though, because the show really will have an effect on you, your family and your friends. A lot of them guys in there now, they are going to struggle, and I mean struggle. People who go on the show now are putting themselves up for ridicule. Whether you win or lose, you are a BB loser. You're a scumbag and piece of s**t to the press and public. No token counselling from Endemol can help you with that."

What do you remember about the infamous 'Fight Night'?
"I remember everything. I thought I was going to kill someone. I'm being honest here, if there wasn't a camera there would have been a lot of blood shed that night. Now I'm a grown-up and more mature, but back then I was just off the streets and I still had that mentality. That's how I did things growing up. We'd sort things out on the grass outside. Whoever wins is right, whoever loses was wrong. That's the way I was brought up. The only thing that stopped me bludgeoning some of those housemates was the prospect of spending 15 years in Belmarsh prison with someone a bit tasty who wants to make advances with me in the night. Not worth it, just for the chance to punch Marco."

You blew your chances of winning on the wedding task. Do you regret losing your cool?
"Well, that doughnut Shell decided to step in and ruin things. Anyone who knows me understands that I can't stand toffs and Shell was one of those toffs with a sob story. Her dad was a chief executive, but yet she didn't have enough money. She lived on a four acre farm, but she was struggling. Why don't you sell two acres and live on a two-acre farm?! On the day of the wedding task I had a headache and warned everybody that I would be snappy, but they chose not to show that. She was getting on my nerves all day, gossiping to Dan about me. We all had a couple of drinks and then suddenly she just went off on one. She called me a c**t, and the gloves came off. Dan opens his mouth, I'd been dying to give it to him, so I gave it to him as well. I gave it Nadia as well. But right then and there, I knew I was going home. I understood the principles of the show and a major one is, if you're up for eviction - don't have an argument that week. Especially with someone not up for eviction and especially not with a woman. The rest is history."

At one point it looked like you could win the show though.
"As far as I'm aware, I was the only person to ever be favourite to win and get evicted in the same week. I was shocked mate. Call it arrogance or what, but up until this day I'm still amazed. I'm up against Nadia, Jason and Dan and I'm going home! Jesus! I honestly think it must have been rigged."

You were famous for your one-liners. Did you think of them before you went in the house?
"I didn't think of anything before I went in there. Me and my friends all have one-liners. Everyone's a cocky so-so in my social circle. Going on TV, you just carry on being who you are. In the house, I would be sat there with nothing to do eating my shredded wheat and Marco would walk by - things then just popped in my head and made me laugh. I'd chuckle to myself and save it for the diary room later. I saved it because if I said them out loud, I'd have been nominated in week one."

Madonna is GROSS

No, no, no, no, no, no and NO!!!

WHY HAS SHE DONE THIS TO HERSELF?!!

She is blatantly like, anorexic or something. Omg I just tried to look at her arms again and I physically recoiled!

PHYSICALLY.RECOILED!!!

Madonna sort it out luv.

This might actually be my favourite song of the entire year

I know it's been getting air play for a while now but DAYUM, I just cannot stop playing this on my iPod!

What.a.fucking.TUNE.

Know you got a roommate
Call me when there's no one there
Put the key under the mat and you know I'll be over there!

*Screams like a groupie*

YOU THE FUCKING BEST DRAKE!

Party in the city where the heat is on...

... all night on the beach 'til the break of dawn!

Yes yes, I was in Miami for 2 weeks (it was so sick) and I'm back in LDN town bitches. I know y'all missed me.

Here's a lil' tribute to my time in South Beach:

(I went to that diner that they're in at the beginning - go me!)

Anyways, I got some blogs in mind, so I'll be putting some new shit up soon.

Oh yeah, and I officially got a 2:1 - in the words of Lil' Wayne:

MOTHERFUCKER I'M ILL!!!

Fuck knows how I managed it - I think I'm like the worst student in history, haha! Such a slacker... and yet it still paid off in the end! Maybe education really has gone downhill in this country!

Be back later,

PEACE

She's outta ma leeeeeeeeague!

Seriously.

Look at this face:


Now look at this one:


And this one:


Real talk people.

Why the HELL would these butterz fools think they have a chance in hell with a girl like Noirin??? They must realise that they are COMPLETELY out of her league... they must! Why would they even THINK about trying their luck with her? It really does amaze me... there's a lot of deluded men in this world, there really is.

I wish they would take their dirty little paws off her for 5 fucking minutes, and stop asking to see her tits/arse. Pair of friggin' pervs!

Dotstar - Stick Up

Check the new video for Dotstar's Stick Up:

He went hard on this one!

Shout out to Miss Tania Nwachukwu (gold top, silver leggings girl!) - look out for her in the next issue of The Cut! Big movements.

Altogether now people:

'All the girls in the club want to hold me for ransom...'

Saffia V Sophia on BBBM

Bitchiness at it's finest!



You gotta love Big Brother! Classic footage right there... these bitches were really going at it! OK, I know Sophia needs to stop running her mouth for once and grow up a bit, but standard, Saffia is WASTE. Before she even stepped into the house, I didn't like her. Acted like a complete arsehole in her video audition.

I love how she's going on like she deserves to get a fucking medal or something for leaving her "babies" behind to on the show. Like she's some brave woman. Errr I got news for you luv, you ain't brave, you are, however, a fucking moron! I feel sorry for her kids. Imagine your mum duckin' you before you've even had your first steps to go on BB and argue with a bunch of strangers and then walk out after a week. She couldn't even wait until Sophia got evicted! And now she has to spend even more time with her on BBBM and BBLB. What a waste! I do rate her a little bit though for putting up with all those peeps cussing her and making her look stupid on BBBM though, HAHA. She got it baaaad.

But yeah, this is good shit! Big Brother is getting real juicy now, arguments galore!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!

YOYO's? Oh you mean YOYO???

YOYO'S

What is YOYO'S?

I've never heard of YOYO'S before, but I've heard of a NIGHT called YOYO at the Notting Hill Arts CLUB.

Why do so many people call it fucking YOYOS? WHERE IS THE EXTRA 'S' COMING FROM???

The club is not called YOYOS. YOYO is the name of the night, Notting Hill Arts Club is the name of the club.

Is it that hard for people to understand?

And even worse - we've got people going on about visiting WESTFIELDS now.

WESTFIELDS? What is WESTFIELDS? I'm not familiar with it, but I know about WESTFIELD though!

Again, WHAT IS WITH THE EXTRA 'S'? Is there any need for it?

I might actually end someone's life if this continues.

Fucking retards.

Rant over!!!

Halle Berry kisses Jamie Foxx - WTF?!!

Look!!!

WTF?!!

She was collecting some award for being buff apparantly and then decided to plant her lips on Mr Foxx's.

They are both attached! Look at where his hand is! Look at where her hand is!

If my man kissed Halle Berry LIKE THAT, publicity stunt or no publicity stunt - or whatever the fuck it meant - I would be P.I.S.S.E.D!!!

Tetris is 25 years old today

The classic puzzle video game.

Every now and again, I'll discover it once more and get addicted for a few good weeks or so. Shit never gets old!

Play a game (or 20) for free at this page: http://www.freetetris.org/welcome.html

Here's to Tetris!

Danny Dyer's a G

Danny Dyer has branded Britain's Got Talent judge Amanda Holden as the "one of the least talented people in the UK".

Writing in his Zoo column, the Doghouse star said that it was laughable that Holden had been employed to judge other people on their talent.

"[She] really f***s me off. I know she is an actress but I'd say she's one of the least talented people in the UK, so how she can sit there and say who's got talent is beyond me," he said.

"The only reason that bird first became famous was by having a roll-about with Les Dennis. Now it's sitting there, clapping its hands and giving advice. It makes me feel f*****g sick."

The 31-year-old went on to say that he was not a fan of fellow judge Piers Morgan either, describing him as a "snake".

"I don’t know why [Simon Cowell] rolled in someone like Morgan, a tosser who just loves being famous. Now Morgan’s swanning around acting like he’s the bollocks."

[Article taken from Digital Spy]

HAHAHA!

Tell 'em Danny!

Vitamin Water is like the worst drink EVER

Yeah I'm talking about that piece of shit drink that Coca Cola made. Like WTF. It is so SHIT!

And it costs a fucking small fortune. I want to know why!

Because not only does it taste like PISH, I just found out from someone who was drinking it yesterday that theres bare sugar in it.

So not only does it taste awful, it's not even healthy! And I swear that's the point of the drink? A HEALTHY alternative?

What a load of bloody nonsense. Seriously, it has got to be the lamest, most pathetic excuse for a drink in the whole wide world. I'd rather drink my own piss to honest!

Oh and get this: my mate just informed everyone on her Facebook that she just paid 65p for a Mini Milk!

65p you know!

The bloody cheek of it! That shit used to be 20p!

I really am worried about what the world is turning into these days, I tell you...

Yaaaay Kate's in the final!

So as I predicted, Kate Walsh made The Apprentice 2009 final, alongside Yasmina.

Good decision made by Sir Alan I think, but for some reason I really felt that Debra was going to get picked alongside Kate. I thought he was going to take a risk with her. Also, I found out the night before that she's a Scot, so I guess I was kinda rooting for her as well at the last minute, haha. Can't believe she is only 23...

Anyways, poor James. He looked defeated long before Sir Alan told him the bad news, bless 'im. He was more emotional than all of the girls put together! I knew he'd be first out, followed by Lorraine.

Speaking of Lorraine: what was with the dodgy Irish accent change during her interviews? That was jokes man, what the hell?!

That Claude guy that was interviewing them is a wanker, but he was right when he said that Kate was 'faultless'. So yeah, I really want her to win, I think she's got it all, but if Yasmina wins I'll be happy as well.

Can't believe I never used to watch this show! What was I on?

Anyhoo, that's it for now. Big Brother starts later, so my life is officially over for the next few months, haha.

This is jokes

http://www.27bslash6.com/strata.html

"David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets."

HAHAHA!

Jodie Marsh is now a bodybuilder

Erm... K?

Apart from those DISGUSTING breasticles of hers and the butterz man tattoos, she actually looks quite good.

According to the Daily Mail, she's "dropped three dress sizes from a size 12 to a 6/8."

... FUCK OFF! She was a size 12 before? What fucking bullshit! Why do always exaggerate the dress size statistics? It's so stupid!

Oh and she's now back to being straight - her lesbian ex-chick has gone back to Australia, and her new bloke is a builder from Brentwood.

Haha.

Anyways, she's still a dick.

The LAMEST adverts on TV right now

The people responsible for the making of the following TV adverts need to DIE:






DIE!!!

I heart cereal

I just clocked I haven't blogged anything for nearly a week - not cool. I'm running low on ideas right now, but I might as well talk about my determination to lose weight before I hit South Beach on the 21st June.

Time is ticking, and even though I've been regularly exercising - by that I mean 3-4 times a week - I've always slipped up on the ol' grub, which basically resulted in me not gaining any weight but not losing a whole lot either.

So for the next two weeks, it's all about cereal baby. I ain't touching that Special K crap because it tastes like utter SHITE - 'llow it. But basically, I'ma be munching on cereal for my breakfast and lunch, along with some fruit, low fat yoghurts and my trusted Snack-a-Jacks. Dinner will be 'normal', and I'll be drinking either water or squash with like, 5 calories per serving. Haha. Oh and green tea, can't forget my mate green tea!

No 'shit' can be consumed over the next fortnight. I'm talking to all of you fizzy drinks, bags of crisps, cakes and pastries and calorific chocolate bars. Just fuck off and leave me alone for a while, OK?! It ain't much to ask! Nobody likes a whale on South Beach, ya hear me? I can't afford to fuck up anymore!!!

Everyone please pray for me during this difficult and testing time!

I'm out.

This week's Holy Moly Duty Log Mental

A woman emailed to complain about about Coronation Street.

Observe:

"Gail called Eddy an orang-utan, I consider this to be worse than calling a black person a chimp."

"I would like to complain over the use of the word 'orrangutang' by Gail earlier in the week. Would this have been acceptable if it were aimed at Craig Charles?"

"Ken Barlow has at least 5 Lyle and Scott jumpers I have been saving to buy my son one of these jumpers for a few months, but ken has quite a few and they retail around £70 -£90 each. How can ken afford these?"

"Kens new girlfriend on the narrow boat says she is going to spend time at various places including the Norfolk Broads I do wish writers and researchers would do their homework properly There is no navigable waterway link between the canal system and the Broads, except via the sea which would ?no be viable in a narrow boat."

...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Check Ken though, with the Lyle & Scott jumpers. Gwaaaaarn Kenny!

Lost Season 5 finale trailer

Looky looky!



WTF IS GONNA HAPPEN?!!

It's gonna be amazing...